Mark writes in response to the previous entry:

Very interesting subject, and I’m delighted you’re devoting the space to it. [Laura: I’m not devoting space to it. Haven’t you read? I’ve officially resigned.] Finding a diet that works – or rather, just learning how to eat healthily – can involve a lot of trial and error. In the just-under three years we’ve been married, my wife has tried numerous diets, for the twin purposes of gaining energy and losing weight. I’ve joined her on a few of these, and am sure I could get a book out of our misadventures.   

Naturally, she tried Weight Watchers, which, while an effective enough weight-loss program for motivated people, actually does nothing to promote healthy eating – simply because the quality of food is not the issue. You can get all your daily “points” by eating chocolate cake if you want (though in fairness I doubt that happens … much).

Then a doctor (of sorts) got her onto the so-called Paleo Diet, which is based on the idea of eating like an Amerindian hunter-gatherer. Meat, fish, eggs, green vegetables, nuts and berries = good. Most fruit and even relatively-sweet vegetables like carrots = bad. One is encouraged to follow meals with fish oil (for at least one reason I can think of). And, of course, the food has to be “clean” – meaning organic, free range, and in the case of fish, wild. My grocery bills were insane, and my wife was sick eating meat for breakfast every morning, so it didn’t last beyond the initial three-weeks.[Did she try bacon? Our forebears ate tons of it.] Did it work? Yes, there was some weight loss, but let’s just say, if you’re not a hunter-gatherer, it’s no way to live.

Then we tried the South Beach diet, which is a more moderate variation on the high-protein/low-carb theme. We found ourselves eating lots of regular mayonnaise, something I hadn’t done in years. The point is (as per Richard’s message), the low-fat stuff is high in sugar/carbs, so it’s better to eat the regular, fattier stuff. But we didn’t last on this one either.

Then there was the Fuhrman diet (mentioned by Katherine), which lasted maybe two days. It really is veganism, which may or may not be the way to go. Personally, I suspect it’s pretty tough to meet all your protein needs from non-animal sources like beans and tofu. But I could be wrong.

Finally, my wife discovered a book called French Women Don’t Get Fat – a wonderfully-written book that preaches moderation while allowing one to eat virtually anything – so long as it tastes good. [Laura: I refuse to include French women in this discussion.] All that’s required is common sense, portion control, and lots of water consumption. Hey, it seems to work for the French – but then, how they eat has a lot to do with their success. As a culture, they’re less abusive of food than we are. Eating is a communal event; they eat slowly and deliberately, conversing between bites. And they simply don’t have the obesity issues we do in North America (or for that matter Britain, from what I’ve noticed).

Alas, this book was followed by one from a different author, titled Japanese Women Don’t Get Old or Fat. Now we’re onto eating more vegetables, smaller portions of meat, and lots of rice. But mind you, not just any old rice. Apparently the Japanese are into something called “short-grain rice.” I don’t know about you, but we couldn’t find any in our local football-stadium-sized grocery store recently. [Laura: Sure you can find it. It just costs $4 a pound.] Long- and medium-grain, yes. Short-grain? No. But I’m sure it’s the answer to all our problems. That, along with buckwheat noodles.

None of this is to criticize any of these diets, but in our experience, the whole thing proved wearisome. However, through trial and error, I think we’ve settled on a few key points: try to eat organic where it really counts, because we can’t afford to do it for everything. Reduce fatty meat intake, but certainly don’t stop eating meat altogether. Cut down on processed and pre-packaged foods, reduce carbs and sugar, and eat more fresh fruit and vegetables. It’s not all that radical in one sense, but as Richard notes, the average family doctor is still pushing carbs big time – albeit “whole grain” carbs.

Hannon writes:

I don’t know if you can stand another comment on food and diets, but Mark’s epistle reminded me of one crucial aspect that touches on manners, habits and nutrition. It is chewing. Many years ago a mentor-friend explained to me the importance of chewing properly (“20 times per bite!”) to prepare food for the digestive process.

Most people I know just wolf their food down. This ties in with recent comments about our often unhealthy relationship with food and the rejecting of eating as an enjoyable social endeavor. Coarse food swallowed hastily to make way for other pastimes, over decades,
results in illness.

So where do young people learn about chewing their food well? I would put it in the same category as good posture, proper walking and breathing discipline. It would seem the learning is not taking place at all, at least in the public schools.

Lauren writes:

I truly enjoy your website and find support for my own ideas and belief systems as a stay-at-home mother and wife, which are usually mocked by others. 

I did want to respond to your statements about telling whether a wife stays home or not by the size of her husband’s belly! I cook 90% of our family’s food from scratch. As you know, there is a great deal of time and care that we lovingly put forth into this endeavor. My husband, 10 years my senior, has many health problems because of how he used to live (alcohol, processed foods, over-consumption). I have finally accepted, after 4 years of marriage, that regardless of what I put on the table or what food I send him to work with, my husband will always graze! Not to mention that he would much rather go out to eat, than eat a home-cooked meal! Are you left to wonder what that says about my cooking? I don’t know – my grandmother who grew up on REAL food, loves my cooking as do fellow friends and family. I am just trying to say, that some of us young stay-at-home moms and wives really are trying to give to our families in this way for reasons of health, love, and the joy that it brings us. Your site cheers us on, although, we are many times met by the world (including our own husbands), with little regard for our contributions. I have learned to keep moving forward in an effort to please the Lord and your site is a nice recourse for me. Thank you! 

Many of your readers are commenting on “diets” that work for them. After spending my entire young adult life believing in the “low fat” movement, I finally discovered the book, Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon. It is an anthropological and historical approach to the cooking methods and diets of cultures around the world. So much care, planning, and time had to go into meal preparation long ago that people appreciated food and the work that went into it. Ancient cultures knew how to properly prepare their foods, in order to best assimilate the nutritive values of food into their bodies (i.e. the soaking and sprouting of grains, organ meats, raw dairy). It is a whole food approach that calls upon us (especially mothers) to be a presence in the kitchen! We are now enjoying full fat raw dairy products, fermented and sprouted foods, and much to my husband’s liking, a nice portion of free range meat at many of our meals!

 Laura writes:

Thank you for your comments. It’s encouraging to know there are many like you battling it out on the front lines.

I would like to emerge briefly from retirement from this issue to mention one thing I’ve noticed about husbands, wives and food. Men generally prefer more meat and women today are big on vegetarian dishes and whole grains. Some women think they can convert their husbands to their way, but nutritionally it does not make sense. I’m not suggesting this pertains to Lauren’s case, it’s just a general observation. Also, men obviously like bigger portions, something women may view as overindulgence.

A craving to eat in a restaurant is sometimes really a craving for fat. That, again, is a personal observation. Restaurant food is almost always higher in fat than home-cooked meals. Sometimes when I get this overwhelming desire to eat in a restaurant,  I decide to make something with lots of fat – maybe a meat dish with a buttery French sauce. The desire for restaurant food mysteriously vanishes. Restaurants are obviously fun anyway because there are no dishes involved and, especially when you have young children, you can get out of the house. But they eat up money so quickly and as I said before, when you make nothing you learn nothing.

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