FITZGERALD WRITES:

Once again, I’m chagrined at the crass content of this Spearhead article, but the author, Dr. Paul, makes two really solid points that stand out and almost demand highlighting. He writes:

“Fake self esteem, like 98% of everything else that is marketed just to females, has become the psycho-porn of the Western woman, with profits that would put a twinkle in Bill Gates eyes. How much profit exactly is anyone’s guess.”

“Psycho-porn” is a brilliant turn of phrase as women all around are ingesting super-sized doses of narcissistic self adulation on a daily basis. I love how he shreds the self-esteem industry and skewers it. The modern obsession with self esteem and the effect on women in particular is exactly what Lori Gottlieb was timidly expressing some concern with, albeit without really letting go of the core tenants of feminism save via her patronizing “”Settling for Mr. Good Enough” [baloney]. 

Dr. Paul writes:

“That is partly because there is no such thing as self esteem. It is just a made up word; a marketing tool to get to your purse, or through you, your mans wallet. There is, however, self respect. And self respect, since it must be earned, is rarely sacrificed.” 

Bingo, respect must be earnedand respect is really what everyone really craves deep down. As I see it the majority of women are addicted to the dysfunctional self-referential loop of ever increasing feminist superlatives and ego grooming all supposedly to validate their personhood. Just as with any addiction, over time ever increasing doses are required to achieve a demonstrable effect. More entitlement, more self-importance all leads to an inevitable crash since all addictions destroy the person’s self-respect. I believe many women in their late 40s and early 50s, like Lori Gottlieb, are beginning to approach bottom and their lives are becoming unmanageable and increasingly chaotic. Sadly, unlike other addictions, the cause isn’t necessarily directly attributable to substances or a particular behavior. Years of psycho-porn addiction to feminist propaganda has warped their entire worldview making the path toward sanity all the more difficult to discern and pursue. 

The second point put forward is the power self-respect provides any individual. In 12 step programs, Al Anon being the most effective, this is paramount and the syllogism “self respect comes from doing respectable things” is the cornerstone of real recovery. 

When women begin to act more respectably, men will begin to change. This is no free pass for guys to use Game or other immoral ways to “get back” at women for years of abuse, two wrongs don’t make a right, ever. The same adages apply equally to both sexes, it’s just the pendulum has swung so far to the feminist side it’s difficult to see a way out until women shape up and begin changing their actions and policing themselves. They just aren’t listening to men and too many are enjoying the chimera of power feminism has given them. Perhaps it’s time to create Femi-Non…. assuming it doesn’t already exist.

                                                       — Comments —

Jake Jacobsen writes:

I grew up and spent my career working in kitchens. Something I noticed was how sharply the differences between the sexes were highlighted in physical blue collar work in a way an office job cannot replicate.

Coming up through the ranks I don’t ever recall seeing a woman working in a serious kitchen, it is simply too strenuous. In an average day at a hotel type kitchen you will lift & move a half ton of produce, sweat off 7-10 pounds, work through fairly painful injuries (sticking a second degree burn into a 600 degree oven for a twelve hour shift), stand on your feet for endless hours, get yelled at by the chef, etc ad nauseum.

My wife (who is a toughie) worked in the same kitchen with me while I was at Colonial Williamsburg and it took such a physical toll on her she began having black out spells. A female chef I worked for in Chicago would break down in tears, due to stress, in the middle of every rush and walk off the line. Which as you might imagine didn’t exactly endear her to her staff or engender respect for the notion of women as chefs.

My point is this, that chef in Chicago was the chef because her sister owned the restaurant. She would never have been picked to run a kitchen in any sane world. While she was a talented cook and creator of dishes she lacked the raw physical stamina that the job required and in many ways took it out on the male staff, because I think, deep down, she knew she was physically disqualified from the job. So she was constantly seeking praise and approval from her staff which was odd to say the least.

In fact her skills would probably have been best utilized in, gasp, a home! I denounce myself for my thought crimes.

Bottom line: it seems to me that women are trying to find that sense of respect and accomplishment in jobs that they are all too often not capable of performing, all too often silly men play along and tell them they are doing fine when they’re not, which leads to exactly what you’re talking about here where instead of doing the things God has created women to do, raise children, run the home, women seek validation by attempting things they aren’t all that good at forcing those around them to lie to them and round and round this lunacy goes, where it stops nobody knows!

Laura writes:

This is a great point. The more women are in the wrong place the more they need this constant glorification.

The self-help industry tries to gloss over the unhappiness and stress of women’s lives in a world where they are trying desperately to act like men.

 Lydia Sherman writes:

Our forbears in the Victorian era would have been puzzled at this generation’s quest for self esteem. In general, it was thought too self centered to be concerned about how happy you were or how good you felt. Instead, they taught that the only way to feel good was to be good and to do good things, to earn self esteem. You would not have thought very highly of yourself if you had not done the right thing. They road to happiness was paved with upright living.

Lisa writes:

Jake Jacobsen writes: “In fact her skills would probably have been best utilized in, gasp, a home! I denounce myself for my thought crimes.”

Today we had extra company at our home. We (as a family of twelve) often have extra friends or families around for mealtimes. Room is limited. I set the table for the young men present first, so they could get on with whatever work they were doing on their more restrictive schedule. Then I and the younger children ate. It hit me that we’ve been taught that it is so “oppressive” that the men eat first and the women and children eat afterward. If I had not started doing this myself for the good order and flow of work and serving the meal, I would have continued to believe that lie. Much of what is pushed off on us as “oppression” in the past has been women’s own good-sense choice in a matter.

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