HEADY G. writes:

So, I have been reading your blog like crazy lately. It’s distractingly good. I am a male in my mid-twenties and it’s amazing how much of your blog’s truth I see in my everyday life. 

I live in L.A., such a hip, liberal, and “forward thinking” city it is. I hear and see people aching for a lot of these principles and values your visitors share. I was with my actor friends one night, men and women. The men discussed how much they wanted a woman who valued her traditional femininity and the girl discussed her longing for a strong man. It sounded like grandparents in the Midwest as opposed to twenty- and thirty-somethings in Hollywood. And what I mainly noticed is that they wanted a return to tradition, family, and a sense of rightness. But they didn’t even see it. It was a longing they couldn’t put into words. It was a call of nature God gave to us all. Our call to be men and women in harmony.

I’ve been reading here and finding people expressing thoughts and virtues that have always been a part of me but I could not communicate for a lack of not understanding the world I have been living. So many of my friends, family, and acquaintances have so much backwards and when I bring some of these important issues up I’m either alienated or get into an argument, but I must keep my backbone or else I’m just turning into a submissive, non-discriminating feminist. I was with three couples yesterday, early 30’s, their relationships ranged from eight to eleven years. None of them were married. The men were, as Laura put it, “… languishing from ennui and indifference” in their lives. And the strong feminist women? They long for children and marriage. I asked one if her and her boyfriend were going to be married and she replied, “A wedding is a lot of organization.” That can’t be the only reason. While another woman said, “Lately, I’ve been feeling like I do want children.” And I wanted to shout to her, “Yes, of course you do! You are a woman that it is one of the greatest gifts God gave you!”

And now, as I type, I realized I should have said these things and that next time I see her, I will. Fear of being chastised for my opinion by all the women in the room? Now every one’s situation is different but I can’t believe that finances are the only thing holding them all back from getting married. They live together and act married already. Maybe if the men weren’t conditioned to be ambivalent they might have had a more stable career. 

And, Laura, you called me out when you spoke of men “choosing some field that is daring or original but does not offer the remotest possibility of significant earnings or of supporting a family.” That is me. I dont feel bad for wanting to have such a career my whole life. It definitely correlates to what Alan Roebuck put so adeptly: 

“…men far more than women are motivated by abstract ideals. And modernity declares that there is no valid metanarrative, in which case man’s chief end is no longer “to glorify God and fully to enjoy him forever” (in the words of the Westminster Catechism), nor even to defend our people and way of life from their many enemies, but instead to be tolerant and nondiscriminatory. Women, in general, seem to enjoy this new imperative but most men are not inspired by being told that all is relative. Real men require a challenge in order to flourish.”

Men want ideals, God, and a familial purpose that apparently the mainstream does not want to talk or know about. But at the same time with feminism continuously “putting men in our place” and turning so many of us into ineffectual sycophants to women. They turn around and criticize us for not being real men (being a good provider, emotionally strong, and having conviction.) What is criticized is what is longed for.

I’m young still and don’t claim to know anything. But men do have, as Laura put it, “a strong and irrepressible drive to differentiate themselves from women.”

And as a young man, I must stand for these ideals if I want a better future for my family, friends, and world.

Laura writes:

Thank you for writing. It is not easy to be as young as you are and witness a cultural catastrophe. Now you can be a dissident too.

What you are seeing in your friends is more than just normal friction between the sexes or immaturity. This is a suicidal course of destruction. Men and women cannot compete on an equal footing for higher education, for jobs and for achievement and maintain their identities as men or women. Nor can a culture perpetuate itself with every individual bent on his own fulfillment in the marketplace and economic independence, wandering into adulthood in middle age. To all women, I say, “Step aside and let men go first.” I know this sounds crudely simplistic. But it is not enough for conservatives to grouse about feminism. If your generation were to reverse sexual liberation and restore the economic primacy of men, the aimlessness you see in your friends would not exist in your children. 

                                                                                             — Comments —

Kilroy M. writes:

Heady G wrote that “What is criticized is what is longed for” and that reminded me somewhat of something I recently wrote at View from the Right (I was addressing the extremely revealing nature of one public woman’s attire, and the discomfort it causes men): 

“This has made me wonder about that perennial pop-cultural question, ‘What do women want?’ Subconsciously, they want what is deemed taboo by the modern feminist culture that they themselves are promoting. On one level they beckon a response that on another level is deemed as criminal. But they set the rules on both levels. I think this is a manifestation of the irrationality or “childish” nature of the female mind that some right wing commentators, such as Roger Devlin, write about.” 

What is criticised is what is longed for in one area (traditional marriage), and in another, what is acted, is made taboo (promiscuity). I further suggested that the only way that we can regain our culture is when men start to just stand up and oppose this publicly, regularly, and be confrontational about it: don’t shrink from embarrassing a woman, just put her on the spot and show how ridiculous her views/behaviour is. Otherwise, the Lie we live in will never be effectively challenged. People need to be roused from their sleep. This will never happen by being meek and soft about it.

David C. writes:

Kilroy M wrote: 

“I further suggested that the only way that we can regain our culture is when men start to just stand up and oppose this publicly, regularly, and be confrontational about it: don’t shrink from embarrassing a woman, just put her on the spot and show how ridiculous her views/behaviour is. Otherwise, the Lie we live in will never be effectively challenged.” 

This is very important. Men seem to suffer from a lingering chivalry in this respect. Women in general, and feminists in particular, have little idea how ridiculous they often appear to men, in their opinions especially. Men simply hold women to a lower standard in this regard. Men seem to reflexively patronize women. I am quite sure that liberal men secretly know that their female colleagues are being absurd but are too kind, or too cowardly, to point it out. Strangely, when I “tell it like it is” to women, even on the Internet, I often get a grudging respect. Some women are like naughty kids who are secretly wishing someone would tell them to behave. Perhaps it is not a good example, but that photo of the four “top” sailors in the US Navy at View From The Right, all of them women, just cries out to be laughed at. And when women are not aping men and looking dumpy and absurd in what is really a man’s clothing or uniform, they seem to go to the opposite extreme and dress like street corner hookers. And no man dares say so. Eventually, it will have to stop. Years ago, the conservative philosopher Michael Levin said that men were going to have to start taking feminism seriously. He was prescient. Men have indulged women for too long.

Laura writes:

These are excellent statements from Kilroy and David. If the complicity of men, their silence in the face of feminism, has been mostly a case of deferring to women and secretly patronizing them, well, that seems fairly easy to correct. C’mon, just knock it off, will ya? Unfortunately, I think many men also believe in feminism. That is not so easy to correct.

Kimberly writes:

Kilroy wrote, “Some women are like naughty kids who are secretly wishing someone would tell them to behave.” 

This is so true. I would even extend it to most women. I fell in love with the first man who told me I had better “behave”! It was exactly what I wanted, and why I rebelled. It was proof that he cared about me. Men who stand by and say nothing are either too timid or really just don’t care for the woman’s well being. Granted, maybe we “naughty women” don’t deserve to be cared about. It can take a lot of energy out of a man. But being in the right gives you a huge advantage. I beg you, all of you good men that have not been so foolishly reeled in to feminist beliefs, take advantage of your advantage! We so desperately need you!

Laura writes:

Again, I recommend Henry James’ novel The Bostonians. He lays out a virtual map for men facing feminist statements by women.

David C. writes:

Kimberly, I was the one who wrote that a lot of women yearn to be told to behave. The problems are that few women will admit this in real life; and most men have been cowed by the culture into thinking that women hate “patriarchs”, “bossy” men, and so on. In fact, there is a feminine yearning to be led, directed and cared for. I have found that women tend to listen to and follow men who fundamentally have their best interests at heart. Another point I would make about liberal men is that women might find them superficially appealing, because they are “hands off” and “non-judgemental”. What they really are is uncaring.

Because men have been discredited by the culture, for no real reason that I can discern, women look for direction from other women, pop culture or their own feelings. The results are all around us.

Fitzgerald writes:

I’ve commented in asides and indirectly at times that most women today are acting up and rebelling, and secretly craving to be put in their place, the problem is by whom? Sadly a large minority of modern, “emancipated” women I fear will only take this treatment from alpha males (those with money and or power) or bad boys. Deep down, most know they are acting up childishly, rebelling and need to be put in their place, but they’ve literally aimed the guns of the state and corporate bureaucracy at non alpha men who would have the temerity to stand up to them. I can tell you straight up, that a very large percentage, a large minority not majority, of modern women faced with a “nice guy” standing up will most likely rip his face off. They are definitely torn, and increasingly unhappy, but they aren’t willing to really let go of their so called freedom. In circles where women have had at least a modicum of traditional nurturing, they do know better and can be reached via the direct, no nonsense male confrontation. Sadly, I believe so many now have no formation and are wandering the world, miserable, unable to really understand their conflicted emotions, but largely brainwashed into believing feminism is the march forward of progress and progress can’t be unwound. The first and second wave feminists have been amazingly effective and stereotyping patriarchal marriage as stale, lifeless, a soulless backwater and I think many women continue to buy the lies. 

I post under a pseudonym because my non-PC perspective would result in me being persecuted by the estrogen mafia at the controls of key sectors of the large corporation for which I am employed. I would either be fired outright, written up, forced to attend diversity sensitivity training sessions (which are really brainwashing sessions) and my career would be stunted if not ruined if a women turned on me. I’m not a coward, but I’m not stupid either and standing up for traditional values openly in the manner advocated would put me out on the street. Getting another job would be double hard as HR is dominated by women and it would be communicated in some not so subtle ways that I was let go for questionable reasons. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no shrinking violet, but direct confrontation in many arenas is completely a no-op. Instead I work in more subtle ways influencing the views of the other men around me and reinforcing their traditional instincts, a sort of guerrilla campaign shall we say. Many men are open to it and can be influenced, a good percentage of them, however, have been feminized and defend it to the teeth. When you get down to it though, they do so because feminist women have proven much more likely to put out and they don’t want to cut off the supply of easy, cheap sex. Sad, but true.

Kimberly writes:

David C. and Fitzgerald have both made themselves very clear to me. It’s strange; I’ve read this blog and other conservative blogs since Oct. ’09 and the reality of it is all just sinking in. Fitzgerald is right. Mine was a bad boy. A real cute one. Well, I’d rather have it that way then the lonely way, but it’s a shame that our society is so set up for such failure. I see what Fitzgerald is describing as his “guerilla” tactics and I’m very pleased. Yes, this will help. But I hope these obnoxious feminists don’t stain the good names of good women. I would like to throw Our Lady in all those women’s faces, and I often do. She is everything a man wants in a woman, and everything a woman wants to be. She is the most valuable aspect that the church has to offer to women. If we can find our hope in her, in the way God has uplifted her, we can find our strength.

Simone writes:

Reading through the comments to this post brought to mind a meme that has been disseminated by quite a few of my female friends via Facebook. The meme is: 

Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges whatever is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of sh*t. 

To say the meme has been well received by many women would be an understatement – the sisterhood is simply lapping it up. Not surprisingly, however, it hasn’t received any attention, positive or negative, from men. 

The first ‘Facebook friend’ to post this is married, in her mid-thirties and childless by choice. Clearly the sperm given to her by her husband is not being used to make babies. Before marriage, she was also given a lot of sperm by various men that didn’t result in a baby, not a live one anyway. This same woman works full-time outside the home and has a long commute, which raises the legitimate question of how much time she really spends on homemaking. Like many of my female friends, this woman actually boasts about her lack of culinary ability and how her husband does the lion’s share of the shopping and cooking. The part about a woman giving her heart to anyone who smiles at her just strikes me as new-age sentimentalism at its worst and is not is worthy of further comment. The final sentence, however, is surely the very essence of feminist doctrine and is the reason, I believe, that so many women are enraptured by this pathetic meme. It’s not about recognizing and appreciating women who have babies, stay at home to raise them in a warm and loving home, to which a husband can return after a hard day at work and be greeted with a smile and a lovingly prepared hot dinner. In other words, this meme has nothing at all to do with exemplifying the role of a traditional woman, as it purports to do. It’s all about sticking it to the ‘patriarchy’, pure and simple. For all my friend’s failings (homemaking, baby-making, culinary), I don’t doubt for a minute that she more than makes up for it with an ability to give her husband bovine excrement…and plenty of it! 

As Fitzgerald stated in his comment, this is one woman who really needs to be called out for her hypocrisy and put firmly in her place by a man who cares for her.

David C. writes:

Kimberly, the way ahead for society will be clearer when more men realise that women really prefer decisive, strong men. I understand Fitzgerald’s concerns, and maybe as an Australian I don’t understand all the dangers “organisation men” face in America, but surely a clever man can negotiate such situations. I behave properly at work with my female colleagues (although I don’t self-censor too much), but I am myself entirely in other places, at home with my wife, and on the Internet. I think I am a sort of “born patriarch,” and I have always had the right instincts. I was genuinely amazed when I started posting my frank thoughts and referring to my own spousal behaviour on places such as this, and some women clearly found my attitudes a refreshing change, and others seemed, unaccountably, to get terribly upset. I have had people on the Internet trying to shame and silence me. 

My prescription would be for “nice guys,” decent Christian men, to start using the tools that “bad boys” instinctively know to use. Good men must be encouraged to be winners again with women. Handling a woman is not easy, and it takes enduring courage. I have had my share of challenges over nearly twenty-five years of marriage. But I have learned that women dislike weak, placatory men, and they respond well to firmness and direction. At least, mine does.

Please follow and like us: