MARY K. writes:
When my husband and I were ready to purchase our first house two years ago, we deliberately looked for a “small” house, exactly for the benefits you describe. We could have easily gotten a bigger and cheaper house, and many people tried to persuade us to do just that. No regrets here, even when we have family flooding in for Thanksgiving and camping out in the only bathroom! I love our cozy and quirky little 1920s bungalow as I’m sure I could never love a big house, as beautiful as big houses (especially older ones) can be. It is well built and bright inside. I can let my toddler have the run of the whole downstairs while I work in the kitchen or at my sewing table. I like the freedom that comes with knowing that if there isn’t room to store something, then we need to give something away. Also, a small house requires much less maintenance and expense of upkeep. It’s easier to clean one bathroom rather than three or four. Decorating and furnishing is also much easier for a smaller home, as necessity will dictate most of those choices! Also I think as a family grows, lack of space indoors will drive the children outside to explore the larger world and get much-needed physical activity!
We are currently expecting our second child. We’re turning the third bedroom (three total) from an office/guest space/storage area into our older son’s room, and a closet in our bedroom into the office area/linen closet. And getting rid of most of the junk that landed in that third bedroom! That’s the largest bedroom in our house and up until now it was mostly wasted space. We haven’t even bothered opening the heat vent to it unless we had guests. When we’re done, that room will sleep four, maybe five people. (Visitors now, children later God willing.) We optimistically hope to have 7 or so children in this house someday! We may add on a school room or some such in the future, however. The family from whom we bought the house had two school-age girls, and were moving so they could have more space. I don’t think they’re that unusual today; architects build big houses because people want them. We are certainly the unusual ones, even for thinking we can handle so many children, regardless of the size of our house. I think there was a great wisdom and grace born of the relative poverty of our grandparents’ generation. You make do with what you have, learn to get along and work together as a family, and always make room for one more.
Buck O. writes:
I”ve been building and remodeling homes for nearly 30 years. No one has ever asked me to downsize their house. I’m doing drawings right now for an office addition to the three bedroom house of a childless couple. I recently added a two-story addition – a large granite-counter-topped kitchen and a master bedroom suite with sitting room above – for a single male. It already had three bedrooms and a finished basement.
No builder in this area would even consider building less than 3,000 square feet. New homes are all over-sized – 4,000 to 5,000 square feet is typical, with two HVAC systems and four baths.
My brother and sister and I grew up in a row house that was 13 feet wide and 22 feet deep. It had two bedrooms and one bath on the upper level. My brother and I sleep in the basement. I don’t remember one bath being a problem. You develop a routine, like a family. There was an open toilet in the corner of unfinished coal furnace room in the basement, so my brother and I were good to go. I don’t think that there was a second full bath on our street.
Now, those tiny houses, which are only minutes from DC, have all been remodeled inside. I’m sure that every one of them has a new bathroom in the basement. My dad paid $7,600 for the house in 1945. They’re selling for over $300,000 today. I bet that there are a third as many children living on that street, and three times as many vehicles.
Laura writes:
Let’s remember that this dramatic change in living standards has occurred during a period in which we’ve been relentlessly told that families cannot survive on one income anymore.
My husband grew up in a home with one bathroom, five children and several boarders. All of the families in his neighborhood lived this way and he knew no adults who were divorced.
Buck adds:
I’ve probably said it a thousand times – that I grew up in one of the best neighborhoods in the world, at the pinnacle of Western civilization – America in the 1950s.
Robin writes:
How interesting that you mention this; just last week, my employer commented to me how sad it is that “some families just have to have the woman working full-time to make it.” While I agreed that there is some validity to the general statement that she made (due to economic changes within society due to feminism and tax laws), I quickly pointed out that in many instances, couples bite off more house than they can chew prior to having children (not to mention cars and other material possessions, but that’s another story.) I told her a story of a couple who advertised on the same child care seeking website that brought us together as employee/employer. This particular couple were both bankers; the husband in a more superior, managerial capacity, but both were working at least sixty hours per week. They sought childcare for their two children UNDER THE AGE OF ONE YEAR for three dollars per hour (NOT per child), approximately twelve hours per day, five or six days per week. The selling point on their web page ad was their home: a 4,000 square foot, brand-new home with a guest house (in case someone wanted to be a live-in nanny, since they would already need to be there seventy hours a week!) and a “playroom.” Wow. I wonder if it ever occurred to them that their children would be happier with Mother home than with the nanny next door in the guest house twenty-four hours a day and the playroom fully stocked?
In any event, I confess daily that I am so blessed. My husband would like to have more as far as money is concerned, as well as ‘house’ (we rent an approximately 900 square foot house built in the late 1800’s), but he admits that he is quite content where God has us now and he trusts God will honor his work at building his new business. Even so, he confesses that he wouldn’t want “too much house”; by this he means too much mortgage payment, because he truly sees the value in my being with our daughter full-time and we are expecting another child soon. His dreams include purchasing a modest duplex and renting the second side of it to another young family to further ensure that I don’t have to work full-time away from our daughter. This is, of course, contingent upon the success of his fledgling business and is not in the immediate future.
I will say that I am delighted with our smaller, older rental home. Yes, it can be a challenge to heat during brutal winters but it is really quite cozy. There is literally nowhere to go to “get away from” anyone else; by sheer force are we required to learn to get along well enough that no one really needs an escape! Believe me, it took some adjustment for each of us. It is delightful to me that I can carry on an unstrained conversation with my husband while cooking in the kitchen. Our living room is cozy; we are always close together even if we aren’t verbally communicating. I can see my daughter wherever she is, which eliminates the need for various expensive “baby” devices such as swings, chairs, exercisers, pack & plays, etc. as she is safe wherever she may be as a toddler.
People generally think we are insane to continue living here with another little one coming after the New Year. They all say we are “going to need more room.” For what? An infant? Are you serious? What kind of square footage is required to add a seven or eight pound human being to your household? This just baffles me. My husband just ignores the comments. I think it’s sad that people are more concerned about the size of their home than the size (and legacy) of their family.
Sarah writes:
All of the thoughts here really hit home and encouraged me. You cannot turn on the news without hearing about the recession, bad economy, no jobs, on and on and on. However, my family lives in a Midwest (more like west) town that is really booming. Our entire state is still in the green financially. Things are pretty good here…if you can handle the severe winters. By severe, I’m talking -80 isn’t more than a blurb on the weather channel reminding us to bundle up and stay safe. Because my small city is booming you can watch new housing developments going up constantly. In three months at least eight new houses were built in our neighborhood alone, not to mention the many upscale apartment buildings taking over the beautiful farmland. This growth is happening citywide. We are a traditional one-income family and we cannot afford these humongous houses being built in exclusive neighborhoods all around us. We recently moved here and have been renting a very nice apartment while we save up to purchase our own house. To be fair I must point out that houses here, compared to the rest of the nation, are reasonable. You can buy a very nice home for $150,000. There is an unspoken pressure to buy up and be a part of one of the “nicer” neighborhoods with the big houses. My priorities are simple. I want something well built, homey (not huge), and in a nice neighborhood for my children. We are being very careful to not bite off more than we can chew financially as we have begun the search for a house. So many other mothers in my circle MUST work in order to help pay for their family’s large house, big vehicles, big everything. People’s lifestyles are getting bigger and bigger as their paychecks stay the same. It is very liberating and assuring to know that I can work in my home because we have modeled our life around our lifestyle choices. No debt is a good thing…especially on one income. And as we prepare to make the biggest purchase of our lives I will keep in mind all the wise things said here. Dignity can be found in small things too (as long as it’s clean and well loved!).
Kerosene Billy writes:
Ronald Reagan used to live in Rancho Del Cielo. Recently listening to the Ricochet podcast, Peter Robinson remarked that he visited it very recently and was astounded by its small size. Not the ranch, but the house itself. There was a bathroom that would have been state of the art in the 1920s, and the bed was so small that there was a stool at the end of it for President Reagan to rest his feet on when he slept. Despite being the leader of the Free World for eight years,he preferred the “kitschy” Old-West familiarity of his big ranch and small living quarters.
All I can say is, if I ever buy a big house, I’m gonna do my best to make sure it’s for a big family. I’ve lived in a few big houses of rich relatives while doing internships. I felt like Scarlett Johansson in Lost in Translation. Completely alone and alienated from the world.
Yani writes:
I would like to add my encouragement to Sarah and her husband to stick to their guns finance-wise. My husband and I bought a very simple house after we married and lived with second-hand furniture for about ten years until we moved to the city, and another simple little home. Many people will simply shake their heads at you, even your visitors, but know this – you are building a legacy for your marriage and your children. Over the past 20 years I have watched my husband become burdened by his work and have thanked God that, if needed, he could throw in the job and we could still keep our heads above water until he found a new job. People take for granted that they will always have perfect health, that they will never need a financial buffer (in case of unexpected emergencies, sick children, etc). Who knows what life has in store? Will the extra bathrooms/bedrooms/entertainment rooms, etc. be worth it when illness strikes? But a strong, considerate, careful marriage will prove the foundation of the rest of your life. No granite-topped kitchen can take its place.
You hang in there, girl!
A Grateful Reader writes:
We, too, enjoy our three-bedroom, 1940’s ranch home. A month before our first child was born, we moved into a small house next to Rock Creek Park. The nearby forest is a grand feature of our “castle”; we walk often, in all weather and return to the aromas of home-cooked meals. Every day, during our prayers, at least one of us mentions how grateful we are to live here, all together, in our little white house. We have friends who also homeschool their children, who are even cosier than we are. Two parents, six children (and one on the way) and two grandparents live in a one-bedroom house [children sleep in the attic, grandparents in the basement], also next to a big forest; but their woods and creek begin in their backyard and go on and on. Someone is always baking. They are, perhaps, the happiest family I know.
Laura writes:
It’s true. It’s one of the great secrets of our age. Small is beautiful. I second the point made by other readers that the outdoors naturally become a part of one’s dwelling when the inside is not a universe to itself.
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