AT Big Truth, William Irons writes on the bizarre neologisms that black Americans use to name their children:

The sad fact is that the way black people in America name their children reflects an abandonment of culture, and abandonment of history. However optimistically disingenuous white liberals …. spin it, the reality is that their names have no grounding in a larger coherent culture, and there are not larger truths being passed on to black children by their parents. If anything, they are being taught – on a basic level – that rejection of white Western culture is their cultural ideal, their highest truth. So when young Kanthony asks his mama where his name came from, she just shrugs and says, “Well basically I made it up. At least it ain’t white.”

— Comments —

Buck writes:

I sent a list of the actual names of black football players on the roster of the  LSU Tigers and Florida Gators to Lawrence Auster about one year ago. You can make these up.

Florida Gators:

Quinteze Williams
Jessaman Dunker
Sharrif Floyd
Jelani Jenkins
Neiron Ball
Latroy Pittman
Jaylen Watkens
Loucheiz Purifoy
Omarius Hines (I heard the announcers call his name a lot)
De’Ante Saunders (I have NO idea how to pronounce this)
Rhaheim Ledbetter
Lerentee McCray

LSU Tigers:

A’Trey-U Jones (I’m not kidding—it’s on the official roster!!—this is just nuts!)
Kwon Alexander
Tre’ Sullivan (perhaps the apostrophe is in place of a “y” or something)
Devante Meullion
Tabari Williams
Jerqwinick Sandolph (no one could make this one up!) [LA replies: someone did.]
Kavahra Holmes (this one either)
Barkevious Mingo (may be my all-time favorite—so I DID hear the announcers right!)
La’el Collins (I think from the planet Vulcan)
Jermauria Rasco (another one you can’t make up)
Tahj Jones
Kadron Boone
Travin Dural

Alex writes:

That reminded me of a headline from last year: “Woman Named Fellony Arrested On Felony Battery Charge Following Bloody Indiana Bar Attack”.

 Alex adds:

How to ensure that your son will never be taken seriously by normal people, such as potential employers? Give him a name that rhymes with Bellcurvius.

How to ensure that even if your daughter is successful and ready to make it big, such as, say, to win an Oscar, she still fails at the last hurdle? Give her a name that is, to quote from William Irons’s article, “a throwback to [her] African heritage”.

Along with hatred of whites, another factor with ghetto names is blacks’ immaturity, which we have recently discussed, the arrest of mental development that takes place at a young age and leaves them forever teenagers (see the famous Negro article from the 1911 edition of Encyclopaedia Britannica). This is why they find strange, unusual names fun and cool. White teenagers also find many stupid things cool, but then they grow up.

Lydia Sherman writes:

In the category of white names, bizarre celebrity baby names can be found here.

And don’t forget the strange names given to Frank Zappa’s children: Motor Head, Dweezil, Muffin, Moon Unit.

 Laura writes:

But those are mostly words that already exist.

Sage McLaughlin writes:

To the extent that you see invented or silly names among whites, that too is a rejection of the prevailing culture and its historically Christian character—at once an expression and a consequence of the decay of civilization.  Since blacks’ alienation from that civilization is more morbid, it takes on more morbid expression.

Here is a parody of the names you frequently see on college football rosters, which pretty well captures the increasing ridiculousness of the phenomenon.

Laura writes:

That comedy routine is a riot.

Karl D. writes:

A year or two ago, Lawrence Auster had written a post about ridiculous black names. As a gag I sent him a list of the black versions of names of some of his readers as well as his own. I don’t remember if he posted it or not, but creating contemporary black names is actually quite easy to do. Just add a “Kwon, Inda or Anda/Onda” onto any first name and you are in business. For example, Karl would become “Karlanda” (Feminine) or “Karlakwan” (Male). Laura would become Laurinda or Lauronda. If you really want to get creative you could be “Laurandingina” by combining two names.

Laura writes:

Ha!

Karl adds:

There is an increasing trend, especially amongst young white, urban hipsters of naming their children classic names, popular in the 19th century. Names like Phinnaeus, Yancy, Ulysess, Atticus, Augustine, Hazel and even biblical names like Zedekiah. Like most things hipsters do in life, it is all about themselves, and of course, being hip. But those are some great classic names. This is a trend I can live with.

Forta Leza writes:

Here is an article which makes it hard not to laugh.

A 13-year old boy was charged with attempted murder. The alleged shooter’s name is Le’Genius Wisdom Williams.

Anyway, my opinion is that giving your child a bizarre name shows a certain amount of narcissism and self-absorption.

Jane S. writes:

Sage McLaughlin wrote:

To the extent that you see invented or silly names among whites, that too is a rejection of the prevailing culture and its historically Christian character—at once an expression and a consequence of the decay of civilization.  Since blacks’ alienation from that civilization is more morbid, it takes on more morbid expression.

Has this ever happened before in a society? Has a minority group anywhere else started naming its children out of resentment for the dominant majority? I read a fair bit of history and I don’t recall ever hearing of anything quite like this. Not even with civilizations on the decline.

Laura writes:

Good question. I don’t know.

Nick writes:

The eldest of Frank Zappa’s kids is named Ahmet, the youngest is named Diva. I think one of them has the middle name “Motorhead.” No idea where “Muffin” came from. Diva was wonderful to me when I visited the UMRK and made me one of the best cups of coffee it’s ever been my privilege to drink. Too bad her mother hated the piece I wrote.

Some of the old school hipster baby names are lovely, others are kind of stupid. No child needs to be named “Broomhilda,” and unless you’re Italian “Nero” should probably go out the window, too. I’m quite partial to “Ulysses” and “Lazarus,” but when me and the wife have kids they’re getting family names.

Jewel A. writes:

I once worked with a very elegant black woman named Karen. She had a particular beef about blacks and how they name their children, and how she’d been picked on for having a WHITE woman’s name. She had just cut up her NAACP card because she’d been accused of race treason for acting ‘white,’ for dressing like a white woman, wearing her hair like a white woman, and well, she’d just had enough.

P.S.  Sometimes, having a respectable-sounding name is no help at all. (From an older blog of mine.)

S. Box writes:

Someone asked if there was another instance of names being chosen “against the ruling class.”

I think the preponderance of Old Testament names given to Protestant children after the Reformation, in  lieu of the former practice of giving children saints’ names is an example.

You would think that the everlasting annoyance of being asked to spell one’s name by everyone would put a stop to made up, or (a white failing) creatively-spelled names, but perhaps not. We are desperate to stand out in some way, I guess.

Denkof Zwemmen writes:

A college friend of mine did his medical internship in a hospital in Harlem back in the 1960s. (Yes, I’m an old guy.) Jewish New York Columbia intellectual that he was, he took pleasure in suggesting the Dostoevskian name Natasha to mothers in search of a name for their wee girls. I like to think that that was the original source of the many black Natashas who appeared in the 60’s and 70’s. Of course, Natasha is not a ridiculous name.

Renee writes:

One of the commenters asked if anyone else does this. I just thought I should point out Mormons do some wild naming also. I am a Mormon and I snicker at some, shame on me. Here is a link to a blog, this lady once a year gets the paper from Rexburg, Idaho from her parents and she goes through it because they list all the babies born for the previous year. It is a hoot.

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