AH, our hero! Our savior and martyr.

He has returned from the battlefield and reluctantly laid down his sword.

Golden light falls across windswept hair, held in place by silicone spray. Creases accumulated over a long life of super jets and sumptuous blondes, glass towers and dimly-lit casino halls have been forgivingly removed.

The best of image-making services have rendered flawlessly smooth cheeks. No ordinary camera would do. Here is our victim of the establishment. Evil liberals are out to crucify him. They give him billions in free publicity. There’s wads of cash on the side, but he’s a victim of immeasurable injustice and democracy’s still the greatest system on earth. Freedom is having nothing left to lose.

The eyes are fiercely honest. They pierce the soul. “I have betrayed my country, my wives and most everybody except Jerusalem, but count on me,” they seem to say. The brow is creased with thoughts of well-deserved revenge.

The chin is exquisite. One manly man stands amidst the ruins of Operation Warp Speed. He will never surrender from his tower of shekels. No, not this Lord of Babylon.

It’s not a smile or a grimace, but lips of steely determination. Let us hereby hate everyone who hates him.

The nose befits a Caesar Augustus or maybe a Caligula. Hard to say, but it’s a magnificent nose, dark on one side, heavenly light on the other.

I envision future citizens of the Soviet States of America, their hearts swelling with pride, before a marble statue with just this immortal face atop its manly form.

Admiring the heroic visage, the people will say to themselves, “We don’t need to do a thing. He’s got our back.”

— Comments —

Janice G. writes:

You said it all!

Trump is the golden “fleecer” this picture shows him to be! He is a “deeply wounded narcissist, incapable of behaving except from perceived self-interest or revenge” (as I have heard it put so well).

Some people have been asking: if this photo is an authentic mug shot, where are the profile pic, processing number and official county information that are always included in one? Why was it released to Trump, who in turn released it to the public through his social media account? Isn’t that some violation of law enforcement protocol? I don’t know the answers, but I don’t think most MAGAs even care to ask questions; this is the likeness of their king and savior.

We are watching The Greatest Show on Earth!

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