DOGS to the left of me, dogs to the right,
Here I am, stuck in the middle with dogs.
Yuppies with puppies, high-priced wedding on hold;
Two careers, and a collie for birth control.
Doggie day cares and salons are K-9 resorts.
Stylists and surgeons (for a fee) will add their reports.
Gelato for Charlie when he’s done his nap,
Then a walk in a stroller so he doesn’t feel trapped.
Take him on a plane, just let him drool on a lap.
As long as man’s best friend can experience the global map.
While humans grow fat on processed food,
Rufus has choice steak when he’s in the mood.
Biscuits and bones, special candies and cakes.
Rufus doesn’t cook, but he always takes.
A dog won’t bother with things to discuss.
He won’t criticize your faults or make a philosophical fuss.
It’s true that he’s trusty til-death-do-us-part.
But his loyalty might cause you a self-centered heart.
The dog used to walked herself while kids did chores.
Now there’s a childless desert with dogs who are bores.
I don’t mean to offend, but I don’t care what Max likes,
Or how he looks in his basket on the bike.
I’ve become a human problem, a real canine discriminator.
But it’s people who made me a committed doggie hater.
Perhaps I will change and like blue bags on the lawn.
But for now photos of Bella tend to make me yawn.
It’s dogs to the left of me, dogs to the right,
Here I am, stuck in the middle with dogs.
— Comments —
Kathy G. writes:
I’m a lover of dogs, cats, all animals.
But the trend of equating them with human beings, especially children, is very troubling.
What is a human “dog parent”, but the “b****” of the old “sonuva” profanity? Years of media depictions of animals with human personalities in TV shows and cartoons has caused this elevation of the animal to human level.
I’ve noticed also that the people who carry on the most about animals in this way don’t like people very much. People are more likely to disagree with you, disappoint you, expect more from you than food and petting. Childless people who treat their pets as children are so sad.
