How Sexual Liberation Can Be Reversed, II

 

In a previous entrya reader commented that it was impossible to reverse the destructive course of sexual liberation because the age of marriage and child-rearing is now relatively late. People can’t wait to have sex until they’re 30 and it is no longer possible, for economic reasons, to get married earlier.

I responded that there are a number of social and economic remedies to this, but I forgot to mention another way people can marry sooner: by becoming more resourceful with a single income. Here a reader explains it well.

Gail Aggen writes:

I was sitting with a group of fellow baby-boomers and younger folks, discussing current events. I pointed out how the fertility rate among Americans, has, but for the Hispanic immigrants, fallen below sustainable levels. Europe is in even worse shape, as I am sure people know. I voiced my somewhat flippant opinion that the best thing that could happen for America would be to bring all the soldiers home so they could make lots of babies (within the context of marriage, of course). This would save all that blood and treasure and do more to protect our country from our enemies (who are procreating at quite a clip), than remaining in the Middle East. Just my opinion of course.

One of the ladies, my age, replied by asking me, “Well, how could they afford to support all these children?” That is a fair enough question, and here is the answer.

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An Aging Country Singer?

Kidist Paulos Asrat writes at her blog: The most revealing thing about Palin's re-emergence as an author is that the book, from the many reviews and critiques about it, says very little about her political aspirations. Instead, it seems replete with petty personal grievances about her botched vice presidential campaign, and attacks of her grandson's father. A serious person, who has spent years in public office, would surely dedicate the majority of his book to his political work, his political philosophy, and his future aspirations in politics – although not necessarily as a president. Instead, Palin produces a "tell-all" type of book. And still more revealing was what she said on her recent Oprah interview. We see her driving to her mansion (how come she still lives there?) and says she feels really free to go where she wants and do what she wants. Yes, after resigning her governorship, which included responsibilities and grueling work, she is now free to hop on a bus and do a tour for a book which has no political significance whatsoever. This, I think, confirms the shallowness of Palin. I wrote about her in a previous post looking like an aging country music star. Maybe that is the image she wants to convey - a type of rock star politician, complete with a tour bus. But I wonder how long that will last until she is required to fill in the blanks.  

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How Sexual Liberation Can be Reversed

 

JOEL writes:

I’m not sure how conservatives, such as yourself, can object to teen pregnancies, such as Bristol Palin’s. While I agree that single-motherhood is horribly destructive to the fabric of society, I cannot see how preaching and pontificating makes any difference in its inexorable march. As the average age of first marriage steadily increases, what you are asking is for individuals to forego having sex until their thirties, given that the average age of first marriage is now that high in some coastal cities. Recently, I was speaking with some older social conservative types, I live in Seattle, and joked that the reason my peers don’t vote Republican is that “Republicans are the people who don’t want anyone to have sex until thirty-five”, and, with the social reality in big cities, that assessment is not far from the truth.

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Poverty and Illusion

 

If the rich countries of the West could bring thirty percent, or even five percent, of the poor children of the Third World into Western homes, taking them away from their poor parents and poor grandparents and poor cousins, removing them from the grinding poverty that limits their prospects and shortens their lives,would this be the best thing for these children? The answer to this question appears to be, ‘Yes,’ according to those who support unlimited adoption of the unfortunate children of the world by Western couples.

I say the answer is, ‘No.’  The poor are just like the rich in one respect. They need more than material things. They need their home lands and their people. They cannot be stripped naked of these and be forced to accept a creed of universal liberation. They are human too, not rootless beings fed only by abstractions and material goods.

“If the poor man’s right was only derived from strict necessity, your piddling selfishness would soon reduce him to a bare minimum, paid for by unending gratitude and servility.”

Such are the words of Monsieur le Curé de Torcy, the senior curate of George Bernanos’ The Diary of a Country Priest. He continues to say of  Christ’s claim, The poor you have always with you, but me you have not always with you:

Rich and poor alike, you’d do better to look at yourselves in the mirror of want, for poverty is the image of your own fundamental illusion. Poverty is the emptiness in your hearts and in your hands. It is only because your malice is known to Me that I have placed poverty so high, crowned her and taken her as My bride. If once I allowed you to think of her as an enemy, or even as a stranger, if I let you hope that one day you might drive her out of the world, that would be the death sentence of the weak.

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A Confederacy of Losers, and Palin cont.

 

LAURA F. writes to Laura Wood:

I know you’re taking a lot of flak from Mrs. Palin’s admirers right now, so I wanted to let you know I appreciate your assessments of her. She is absolutely a feminist. Feminism has been assimilated into mainstream U.S. conservatism and the conservatives haven’t even noticed it. People many years my senior who claim to support conservative family values love her, and I ask them, “If 20 years ago she had come on the scene as she now is, would you have considered her a conservative?” They don’t seem to think it matters because liberalism has progressed so far since then. So in many minds, conservatism means “staying a few steps behind the liberals” rather than having eternal principles. And people are so alienated from our own traditional family structure that they think it comparable to life under the ayatollahs in Iran. Thanks for putting your courageous voice out there.

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The Ongoing Farce of Military Mothers

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FROM today’s New York Times:

An Army cook and single mother is under investigation and confined to her post after skipping her deployment flight to Afghanistan because, she said, no one was available to care for her son while she was overseas.

The woman, Specialist Alexis Hutchinson, 21, said she had no choice but to refuse deployment orders because the only relative who could care for her 10-month-old son, her mother, was overwhelmed by the task and already caring for three other relatives with health problems.

Her civilian lawyer, Rai Sue Sussman, said one of Specialist Hutchinson’s superiors told her she would have to go anyway and put the child in foster care.

Feminism is great, isn’t? It’s given women the thrilling opportunity to put their children in foster care so that they can go off and work as Army cooks. As Sarah Palin put it, “Things have changed. There’s so much equality now.”

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“Vindication is Not the Goal of Mine”

IN AN INTERVIEW with Barbara Walters on Good Morning America today, Sarah Palin insisted she was not seeking revenge against the McCain campaign in her new book. "Vindication is not the goal of mine," Palin said, with characteristic syntactical roguishness. She also said nasty allegations against her were "bullcrap." Palin made another revealing and unsettling revelation about her personal life. She told Walters that she was shocked by the news that her daughter Bristol was pregnant and her reaction was, "Didn't you know there were things you could do to prevent this or not do it all?" In other words, this family-values conservative thought her 17-year-old daughter should have been using birth control. She described what appeared to be a laissez-fair approach to her daughter's activities and sexual education. "There was that assumption that you're [Bristol] not doing it," she said. By "doing it," she meant having sex. Palin addressed once again questions about the rebellious Levi Johnston, Bristol's former boyfriend, the father of Palin's new grandson and the man who is likely to hound her for years to come. She maintained that his accusations about the Palin family have no basis in fact. Palin appeared in a segment on the Oprah Winfrey Show yesterday in shorts and a T-shirt, at one point lying on an exercise mat and cycling her legs. But she told Walters that a photo of her in running shorts on the cover of Newsweek  was "a wee bit degrading." The news magazine should…

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‘Going Rogue’

 

Sarah Palin

I LIKE SARAH PALIN. There is something refreshingly genuine and un-smarmy about her. But, after watching Oprah’s interview this afternoon with the former candidate, I have not altered my fundamental opposition to her as a future president.

I oppose her possible candidacy for two reasons. One, she is not smart and steely enough. Two, she is a feminist.

Granted, she is not an extreme feminist and she differs with the mainstream movement in her opposition to abortion. But Palin wholeheartedly embraces feminist egalitarianism and the radical transformation of society that it entails.

Palin made a number of interesting revelations in this interview. She said she did not tell her husband that the child she was carrying had Down’s Syndrome until three weeks after she learned of it from doctors. It was three weeks before the couple was alone and she could share this important information.

This amount of estrangement due to busy schedules did not, judging from this interview, seem to bother Palin in the least. She also said that when she learned she was pregnant with Trig, even before she knew he had Down’s, she felt understanding for women who choose abortion.

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Principle No. 1 of Traditionalist Home Decoration

 

IN PREVIOUS ENTRIES, I discussed the influence of sterile modern design on the home. In a series of intermittent posts, I will be offering some basic principles of interior decorating for traditionalists. Here is Principle Number One.       Red house tile: Cock by William Morris

I.    DEFLECT THE EYE FROM UGLINESS.

Traditional homes, in an age when the model of the two-income family reigns, have one big problem. Let’s call it fundlessness.  Adhering to the absolute necessity of a woman at home,  the traditional family may live in a state of genteel poverty or, even worse, serious impecuniousness.  Forced by this condition to buy a small, hideous house or rent a small, hideous apartment, traditionalists face a seemingly insurmountable foe: ugliness.

The one-income family is much more likely to encounter architectural oppression than its relatively high-flying two-income counterpart. This oppression may appear in the form of a rectangular 1950s ranch house with metal windows and asbestos flooring; a tiny, dormered Cape Cod with rooms no bigger than horse stalls, or a “garden” apartment complex that has all the charm of a Stalingrad high-rise. There’s no point in pretending you live in a castle when you live in a shoebox. It is of absolute importance to acknowledge ugliness in one’s immediate surroundings. Denying it will only make things worse. Once a person reckons with the existence of a demon, he can begin to exorcise it.

And, that’s what interior decorating becomes in these unfortunate cases:  a form of exorcism. One cannot knock down walls; erect additions that will obscure the original outlines of the house; or blast the whole thing to smithereens. One has to work within the body one has been given.

Do not despair. The human eye craves beauty. It is easily distracted from ugliness whenever there is the slightest sign of true beauty in a room. The trick is to purge the demon by your own process of embellishment. This is not always easy and takes some careful thought and consideration. Women who come into an ugly house and immediately festoon it with stencilled flowers in an effort to mask cheap architecture only make things worse. You must first examine the ugliness, breathe it in, look for the breaches in its defenses. Do nothing until you have taken stock of the enemy. This may take months or, depending on the formidability of the foe, even years.

Once one has studied the enemy, one can come up with simple strategies. Find the ugliest point in a room and work to move the eye away from it. Initially, it may be things no more expensive than a few house plants, a beautiful table cloth, or a collection of sea shells gathered at the shore to begin the process. Later, one can work with paint, furniture, fabric, lamp fixtures and art objects, all within whatever budget you are given, to lend your shoebox charm. There is no home that is irretrievably ugly. None. The very cheapest of homes can indeed be made into a castle with patience and perseverance.

I once met a woman who lived on the edge of a four-lane highway. Her tiny ranch house was the sole remnant of a vanished neighborhood that had been knocked down to make room for strip malls. To make things worse, her house was not originally lovely. Surrounded by hideousness all around, embedded in the very heart of the demon, she had created a home filled with feminine delightfulness. It was not possible to point to one little knick knack in her collection or one piece of furniture that was responsible for the pervasive atmosphere of charm and repose. It was a mysterious almagamation of effects, all of them very cheap.

This woman had come into the heart of the beast. She had seen. And she had conquered.

 

 Country Living Magazine

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The Spiritual Calamity of the Modern Diet

  In my previous post on Obesity in America, I argued that the poor eating habits of Americans were not just a result of economics or poor nutritional advice or even the decline in home cooking, but of a deep and pervasive spiritual lassitude. The problem of course is not unique to this country. Britain has seen the same phenomenon, perhaps to an even greater degree, among its native population.  Theodore Dalrymple describes it here: I tell the doctors that in all my visits to the white households in the area, of which I've made hundreds, never—not once—have I seen any evidence of cooking. The nearest to this activity that I have witnessed is the reheating of prepared and packaged food, usually in a microwave. And by the same token, I have never seen any evidence of meals taken in common as a social activity—unless two people eating hamburgers together in the street as they walk along be counted as social. This is not to say that I haven't seen people eating at home; on the contrary, they are often eating when I arrive. They eat alone, even if other members of the household are present, and never at table; they slump on a sofa in front of the television. Everyone in the household eats according to his own whim and timetable. Even in so elementary a matter as eating, therefore, there is no self-discipline but rather an imperative obedience to impulse.…

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The Problem with No Name

 

“This will sound callous, but I think the great suffering people feel in their own country is nothing compared to the great emptiness many feel in countries they feel alien towards. This existential suffering is far worse, far more damaging than the materialistic one. Poverty has always been with us. Societies have always found ways to deal with it. But, I know of no society which can deal with existential emptiness.”

                — Kidist Paulos Asrat, from Jolie and the Hidden Dynamics of International Adoption

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Jolie and the Hidden Dynamics of International Adoption

  KIDIST PAULOS ASRAT, writer of the Camera Lucida blog and an Ethiopian who lives in Canada, writes: Congratulations on your brave post on transracial adoptions. I wavered to send you this, since the issue is so contentious, but I think, as you have shown, it needs to be said. These days, there is a huge "market" for Ethiopian children for adoption into Western families. Besides Americans and Canadians, Australians are big competitors. Many say that Ethiopian kids are ideal adoptees, since they have mild manners, are alert, and are often attractive. Other African or Caribbean (mostly Haitian) children don't get such rave reviews. Of course, the Ethiopian government, and many other side-agencies, both in Ethiopia and in these adoptee countries, have made this into a profitable enterprise. I think it is terrible and atrocious. There are many examples I can give of very satisfied white families. One was on Oprah recently, showing off its handicapped (she's missing her arms) girl who taught herself how to swim, and speaks impeccable English she learnt in record time. The most famous is Angelina Jolie's daughter, Zahara. This is a notorious case, with an "out there" movie star, but I think it enunciates many of the problems inherent in this unfortunate enterprise. Firstly, the birth mother recanted after the adoption. But I think she was convinced (coerced?) by various agencies that her illegitimate daughter would fare much better with Jolie. In fact, in her…

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Da Vinci on Trees

 

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“The leaves of the trees which are between you and the sun are of five principal shades of color, namely a green most beautiful, shining and serving as a mirror for the atmosphere which lights up objects that cannot be seen by the sun, and the parts in shadow that only face the earth, and those darkest parts which are surrounded by something other than darkness.”

                                —– From The  Notebooks of Leonardo Da Vinci

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Depressing and Uplifting

  A reader named Paul, commenting in the post on the possible federal takeover of health care, says: "I look at myself like someone in north Africa in the early 7th century: a member of a doomed culture under attack."

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Same-Sex Harrassment

 

A new report by the Heritage Foundation takes a detailed look at the “harassment, intimidation, vandalism, racial scapegoating, blacklisting, loss of employment, economic hardships, angry protests, violence, at least one death threat, and gross expressions of anti-religious bigotry” experienced by supporters of Proposition 8, the marriage amendment passed last year in California.

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A Massacre One Day, Work the Next

  One week after they suffered devastating injuries and possibly the most harrowing experience of their lives, survivors of the Fort Hood massacre "have already begun the process of moving on," according to this report in the New York Times. It quotes one of the victims, who was shot three  times, as saying he was praying for Nidal Malik Hasan and his family. "He had a bad day," he said. The message is this: If these immediate victims can move on and forget this incident, so can you.                                  

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The Locked Door of Infertility

                                                              In Genesis, Rachel offers Leah an extra night with their husband Jacob in exhange for the mandrakes gathered by Leah's son. The wild root was believed to magically cure infertility. After years of barrenness, Rachel conceives twice, but ironically dies in childbirth. She names her second son Ben-oni, "son of my sorrow," before she dies.  After early death and grave illness, premature infertility is the worst physical affliction a woman can face. The Old Testament recognizes murder, illness, family strife of every variety. It does not leave infertility out as one of the most grievous curses humankind encounters and it is a major theme in Genesis. More than simply a biological phenomenon or an emotional event, inferility is a state of spiritual paralysis. A woman who wants children and cannot conceive stands on one side of a locked door. On the other side are her children waiting to be brought across the threshold and into life. She struggles with the lock. So palpable and living do these children seem, she enters a state that can only be called mourning. She grieves those who have never lived. One of the greatest crimes of feminism is its callousness to the universal pain of infertility. Feminism has actively promoted promiscuity, which often leads to sexually-transmitted diseases and the inability to conceive. Feminism has actively promoted delayed child-bearing even though female fertility begins to decline in a woman's late twenties. Feminism has actively denied some of the cultural causes of infertility and instead promoted extreme efforts…

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‘Are Same-Sex Couples Better Parents?’

  The inevitable has happened. Both the San Francisco Chronicle and the New York Times have recently posed this question: Do same-sex couples actually make better parents than the old-fashioned, increasingly obsolete Mom and Dad? Here's from the Chronicle writer Amy Graff: My daughter's first best friend had two dads. My husband and I used to joke that the dads were better parents than us, and the thing is they were. We'd show up for a play date at the park, and my daughter would announce that she was hungry. I'd dig out a bag of old mushy raisins from the bottom of my purse (who knows how long they had been in there), while one of the dads would magically pull a spread of carefully chopped fruit (enough for everyone) from his satchel. Now I'm not saying that you can judge a parent by the quality of their snacks but this theme of thoughtful parenting carried through into everything these dads did. Out of any parents I knew, they were the best at gathering their family around the table every night for dinner, at finding a work-family balance, at disciplining their children in a fair yet firm way, at filling their kids' schedule with a healthy mix of creative free play and planned activities. And then there was the dad's relationship, which impressed me the most. They worked as a team, raising the kids as equals. They weren't restricted by gender roles…

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