The “Psycho-Porn” of Self-Help

 

FITZGERALD WRITES:

Once again, I’m chagrined at the crass content of this Spearhead article, but the author, Dr. Paul, makes two really solid points that stand out and almost demand highlighting. He writes:

“Fake self esteem, like 98% of everything else that is marketed just to females, has become the psycho-porn of the Western woman, with profits that would put a twinkle in Bill Gates eyes. How much profit exactly is anyone’s guess.”

“Psycho-porn” is a brilliant turn of phrase as women all around are ingesting super-sized doses of narcissistic self adulation on a daily basis. I love how he shreds the self-esteem industry and skewers it. (more…)

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How to Marry Yourself

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IF A WOMAN cannot find Mr. Wrong, she can always marry herself. Elizabeth Gilbert, author of the fantastically popular Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage,  describes a friend who does just that:

On the morning of her fortieth birthday, my friend Christine went down to the northern Pacific Ocean at dawn. It was a cold and overcast day. Nothing romantic about it. She brought with her a small wooden boat that she had built with her own hands. She filled the little boat with rose petals and rice – artifacts of a symbolic wedding. She walked out into the cold water, right up to her chest, and set that boat on fire. Then she let it go – releasing along with it her most tenacious fantasies of marriage as an act of personal salvation. Christine told me later that as the sea took away the Tyranny of the Bride forever (still burning), she felt transcendent and mighty, as though she were physically carrying herself across some critical threshold. She had finally married her own life, and not a moment too soon.

Carrying herself across the threshold? And people say feminism has made women happy.

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Our Anti-Discrimination Laws

 

Now that the Hardvard-educated biologist Amy Bishop allegedly has murdered three professors at the University of Albama, her charge of sex discrimination against the university would seem to be a shut case. But, according to the Chronicle of Higher Education, a spokesman for the university declined comment on Bishop because of the ongoing discrimination case.

Such is the atmosphere of proceduralism and bureaucratic hesitation created by our anti-discrimination statutes. Bishop had acted erratically and aroused suspicions of insanity in a number of colleagues, the Chronicle reports, and yet she was free to threaten the university with a sex discrimination suit filed with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. Employees are much less likely to speak frankly with supervisors, and employers are much less likely to act on their instincts, in the kind of atmosphere created by anti-discrimination laws. They are not just inherently unfair, they are dangerous. Perhaps it is not too absurd in today’s work climate to imagine a convicted murderer winning a discrimination case.

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Is Sex Really Better Today?

 

IN RESPONSE to the previous post on the widely-held conceit that we live in an age of unprecedented sexual discovery and pleasure, a reader offers this view.

Anna H. writes:

As a Mennonite, I am aware that we are considered backwards by society for such “repressive” practices as encouraging modest clothing and a family-based lifestyle and discouraging divorce, premarital sex, and abortion. Clearly, these beliefs are terribly oppressive to modern folks, especially women. Or are they? And they certainly must stifle the enjoyment of sex. Or do they? (more…)

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The Forgotten Fast

  FASTING purifies the soul. It lifts up the mind, and it brings the body into subjection to the spirit. It makes the heart contrite and humble, scatters the clouds of desire, puts out the flames of lust and enkindles the true light of chastity. -- Augustine                                                               

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Denied a Promotion

  [NOTE: I originally posted a picture of Amy Bishop here, but I found it too disturbing, I decided to remove it. It is a chilling portrait of an angry human being.]   It is always more shocking when a woman commits an act of extreme violence. The case of Amy Bishop, the neuroscientist who allegedly shot three professors at the University of Alabama last week, is especially troubling. Bishop has a Ph.D. from Harvard and is the mother of four children. Her case raises disturbing questions about a life of ambition and violence. Bishop shot her 18-year-old brother in 1986 in Massachusetts and the death was ruled accidental. She also was previously questioned in a 1993 case involving a pipe bomb sent to a former colleague. Bishop was denied tenure and there is speculation this fueled her rage. She was described by the New York Times as "fiercely intelligent." According to the Boston Herald, Bishop held a gun to a man's chest at a Boston area auto body shop and demanded a getaway vehicle minutes after her brother's shooting 24 years ago. According to the Herald, Bishop's mother was a member of the police personnel board in Braintree at the time of the shooting.

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Men’s Fashions

  WOULD YOU, could you love a man who looks like this?  The New York Times describes the latest in men's fashions here. I realize the idea is to create a look that appeals to other men, not women.                        -- Comments -- Lisa writes: "Would I, could I, love a man who looks like this?" That's just it: there are no men who look like that.

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Masculine and Feminine Principles

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MALE AND FEMALE are more than biological realities. They are spiritual essences and cultural ideals. Bonald, a writer who takes his pseudonym from the French  monarchist Louis de Bonald, describes these ideals at his site, Throne and Altar. He writes:

Of course, each nature has its characteristic deformations, but it is always a gross error to identify a thing with its deformation. (more…)

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Fat Aunt Bess

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IN THE ANNALS OF surrogate mothering, British nannies and Southern nannies are the most famous, two utterly different species, now mostly extinct. In response to the recent posts on nannies near and far, a reader sends this beautiful excerpt from Stephen Vincent Benet’s John Brown’s Body about a black slavewoman, “matriarch of the weak and young:”

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No Thing, But Snow

  WE HAVE about three feet of snow in our yard here in Pennsylvania. That may seem unexceptional for residents of Buffalo or Syracuse but for us, it's very exceptional. During the blizzard on Wednesday, we lost power for ten hours and a gargantuan  pine fell across our road. At the height of the storm, these words from the Bellows Falls Times in Vermont seemed apt. They were written right after the Blizzard of 1888: "No paths, no streets, no sidewalks, no light, no roads, no guests, no calls, no teams, no hacks, no trains, no moon, no meat, no milk, no paper, no mail, no news, no thing -- but snow."

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Forgetting Who We Are

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IN THE THIRD OF a series of essays on the decline in literacy, Thomas F. Bertonneau explores the connection between memory and popular culture. He describes introducing his university students to folk and music-hall songs. He says, “there is a startling difference between the songs that students consume and the songs that their grandparents and great grandparents sang, the memory of which the commercialization of music rudely interrupted, starting about fifty years ago”:  (more…)

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Hug for a Feminazi

 

BJH writes:

Having read your blog, I am going to go out and find the biggest, hairy-leggiest feminazi I can and give her a big old hug. I am then going to fall to my knees and thank the “higher power” that I have grown up during a time when antiquated views like yours are in the minority. (more…)

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Sartre and Beauvoir

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It’s hard to overstate the importance of two French intellectuals, Jean-Paul Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir, in the history of postmodern romance. Much has been written that discredits their image, but the fairy tale lives on.

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One Father’s ‘Remorseless Interrogations’

 

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SOMETIMES it seems the world has been emptied of fatherliness. You know, father, the big guy who lives with your mother. You know, the guy who says no. Maybe the world took Jean-Paul Sartre too seriously when he said, “There are no good fathers … It is not the men who are at fault but the paternal bond which is rotten.”

Still here and there, fathers, typically men who haven’t gotten the message that the paternal bond is rotten through and through, show up for duty. Here’s one.

James H. writes:

As the father of four girls, I’ve faced many “dates” and do not feel as though I’ve done my job unless I’ve managed to instill some fear and trepidation. (more…)

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A Nanny’s World

 
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Eloise had a British nanny

 IN RESPONSE TO the previous posts on nannies,  which can be found  here and here, a working nanny writes in to share her observations. By the way, Eloise, the famous character who roamed the halls of the Plaza Hotel, was able to have a perfectly decent life with her “rawther” British nanny, who never kept Eloise from her very necessary adventures.

Mrs. Cote writes:

As someone who is currently a professional nanny, I just wanted to thank you for pointing out that there are those of us who take our work seriously. You are right to point the low paid, usually foreign women are not actually nannies. At best they can be called babysitters. They should be called dangerous since they are completely unsupervised and are actually allowed to take their charges out of the home. A true governess would work with school age children while a nanny/nurse would care for babies and very young children.

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More on Pushy Parenting

 

IN RESPONSE to comments on the phenomenon of over-attentive parents, Alex A. gives a a great summation of one of the main underlying causes of this problem. “Pushiness,” he says, “is a compensation for not being there.”

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The Parisian Nanny

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Sebastien writes in response to Nanny Power:

It’s a with great deal of interest that I follow your blog from where we are in Paris. 

We have two boys, one of 18 months and the other of three years. In our building there are four households, including our own, that have young children. My wife is a full-time mum and has no desire to change this. The other three families have nannies. (more…)

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The Worst Nacho Chips

 

Fitzgerald writes:

True to form, most Super Bowl commercials showed men in a variety of convenient misandrist stereotypes. But none were quite as repellent and creepy as the Doritos ad with the kid slapping his mother’s date. Revolting on many levels.

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