The Invisible Barriers of Porn Users
MICHAEL N. writes:
To my great regret, I have vast and intimate knowledge of pornography, and like one of your previous commenters, I wish I had never laid eyes on the stuff.
I was a habitual user of pornography from early adolescence into my 40s. I started with magazines, then videos and from there seamlessly to Internet porn, and I have no doubt that modern therapists would classify me as an addict (though I loathe the notion that addiction renders one helpless). I went cold turkey shortly before I was accepted into the Catholic Church, due mainly to Christ’s wholly unambiguous identification of lustful gazing with adultery in Matthew 5:27, and the prospect of having to confess my sins to a priest. Although I have been strongly tempted several times since, I have so far held firm through the grace of the Holy Spirit.
As an aside, exactly how do Christian men rationalize their way around Matthew 5:27 when it comes to pornography? This has to be one of the least ambiguous or open-to-interpretation passages in the Gospels.
On the matter of pornography and marital satisfaction, I have to say that I was never in any sense driven to porn by my wife–my habit predated our marriage by decades and was more or less unaffected by it (aside from the additional furtiveness required). My wife and I have had some serious ups and downs, but my desire to view porn was not in any way correlated with these; in fact, it may well be that I was less likely to use porn when things were going badly between us. I should also point out that (contrary to many womens’ impressions of why men use porn) my interest in porn had nothing whatsoever to do with any perception of my wife’s inadequacies or a desire to compare her with other women; in fact, I have always been repelled by the lurid and artificial “beauty” of models and mainstream porn actresses. I looked at porn because I craved images of many different women, and that’s it. Youngfogey’s comment captures the impulse perfectly:
Men tend to see women who are even remotely attractive as part of a large pool of beauty, emanations from a common source rather than competitors.




