Housewife, Homemaker, Domestic Engineer
THE DISCUSSION on what wives and mothers should call themselves continues here. In response to a reader’s comment that housewives should respond with defiant witticisms to any challenge, I write:
[T]he hesitation for a woman to call herself a housewife does not purely stem from uncertainty or lack of confidence, it also comes from deference to other mothers. A housewife often feels she must hide what she has in the same way a rich person may feel the need to downplay his wealth. The housewife possesses great riches in the time she has to act upon her love for her children and husband and even though she may have traded material comfort and live in reduced circumstances in order to attain this gold, she may not want to show off her enormous wealth. Therefore she hedges when asked to describe who she is.
All this is inevitable in a society that does not explictly affirm the role of full-time mother and wife. A society that does not explicitly affirm this role becomes one that explicitly affirms the opposite: the absentee mother and wife. The idea of balancing social approval is a myth; such balance is impossible to achieve because these are mutually exclusive ideals. Society cannot approve contradictory standards. (more…)



